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How To Be A Good Clinton/Gore Democratc
- You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.
- You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders
how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
- You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding American
citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the
hands of Chinese communists.
- You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
- You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by
yuppies driving SUVs.
- You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.
- You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on
demand.
- You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.
- You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.
- You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.
- You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
- You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.
- You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
- You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinhem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E.Lee
or Thomas Edison.
- You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't.
- You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
- You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge.
- You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but
a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
- You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
- You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
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