A man walks into a bar and walks up to the bar and sits down. He notices a big bowl sitting on the table behind the counter that full of $20.00 bills. He says to the bartender...
"Hey, Whats the deal with the bowl of $20.00 bills?"
The Bartender says "That's our little contest. If you win the contest then you get the bowl of $20.00 bills."
"OK" says the man. "How do I get into this contest?"
"Well" said the bartender, "You have to put $20.00 in the bowl to enter, and then there are 3 things that you have to do."
"What are these things?" said the man.
"Well first" the bartender said, "You see that bouncer over there in the corner? You have to walk over there and knock him out with one punch."
"Wow", said the man. "I'm a pretty small guy, I don't know if I could do that. Ok, what's the second thing?"
"OK", said the bartender. "The second thing you have to do is this. You see that door over there? Behind it is a huge pitbull that has a bad tooth. You have to go back in there and pull that tooth out of the pitbull's mouth."
"Jesus", said the man. "That sounds like a lot. I don't think I could do that. Just for kicks, what's the third thing?"
"Well", said the bartender, "The last thing is this.... Upstairs in room 3 is an old woman that hasn't had any in a long time. You would have to go up there and have your way with her."
"Wow", said the man... "This is too much for anyone... Let me have a drink."
After about 5 drinks the man starts to feel differently about the contest and turns to the bartender and says "Hey buddy, I'd like to try this contest."
He then throws a $20.00 bill into the bowl, gets up, walks over to the bouncer and decks him with one punch. The bouncer was out cold. The bartender looks on in amazement.
The man then heads over to the room where the pitbull is and goes in the door and closes it behind him. Loud screaming and barking can be heard throughout the bar, and finally the man walks out the door, bloody and clothes torn. He looks at the bartender and says
"OK, now where's that broad with the bad tooth?"
Assorted | One Liners| Mostly True Stories| Signs of our Times