Mefco's Random Joke Server

    Random Joke Server

joke topics
funny stories
submit a joke
mailing list

about us
Prestige Mall

    Random Joke Server

next joke|back to topic list

You Might Be A Republican If...

  • You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

  • You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

  • You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

  • You've ever referred to someone as "my insert racial or ethnic minority here friend."

  • You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

  • You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

  • You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

  • The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

  • You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

  • You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

  • You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

  • You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches?"

  • You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

  • You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Toots."

  • You answer to "The Man."

  • You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

  • You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

  • You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

  • You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

  • You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

  • When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

  • You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

  • You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

  • You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

  • Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

  • You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

  • You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

  • You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

  • You've ever called education a luxury.

  • You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

  • You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductible.

  • You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

  • You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

  • You're afraid of the liberal media.

  • You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

  • You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

  • You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

  • You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

home | advertise | about us
joke topics | funny stories | submit a joke | contributors
prestige mall | mailing list

Copyright © 2000 Mefco, Inc., All rights reserved. E-mail:
Design by Neuco Image Group, Inc.
"Mefco" and "Mefco's Random Joke Server" are trademarks of Mefco, Inc.
Privacy Policy       Disclaimer