Mefco's Random Joke Server|Funny Stories

Instructions

Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

History

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

Medicine

You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Public Speaking

2,500 aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm Them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Biology

Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your theses.

Music

Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Psychology

Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Sociology

Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Epistemology

Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

Management Science

Define Management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

Literature

Write an epic of not less than 10,000 rhymed couplets on The Ascent of Man; do not use more than four different languages. Then write a critical essay explaining the intentional fallacy of your poem.

Engineering

The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Economics

Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, The Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Mathematics

Provide a counter example to Goldbach's Conjecture. Reconstruct Fermat's proof of Fermat's Theorem. Using the construction paper and Scotch tape found on the back of this exam, build a working model of a sphere which can be turned inside out without any folds.

Chemistry

Using the materials leftover in the box containing the rifle, along with the chemicals provided in the first aid kit, build an atomic bomb. This is to be used in the next question.

Political Science

There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

Physics

Explain the nature of matter. Include in you answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Philosophy

Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

General Knowledge

Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

Extra Credit

Define the universe. Give three examples.

If you finish before time is called, go back and check your work.